Rich Apple

                not gonna put my address on the internet

                Santa Cruz, CA



                not gonna put my phone number on the internet

                January 1 st , 2004


Apple Computers

1 Infinite Loop

Cupertino, CA 95014


Dear AppleWorkers,


It's not often that a swell company such as yours has an opportunity to repair a small mistake it made many years ago, but now I am giving you that chance.

Enclosed you'll find a copy of a letter that I sent to you in June of 1985. Instead of a copy of the actual letter, it's really a scan/print of the two pages wherein I reproduced the letter in a small pamphlet collection of my writings which I sent to friends almost yearly back then. (Because my pamphlets began in the ‘70s, Grant Brittain, a friend who has been a professional skateboarding photographer for many years, once commented that I started the entire ‘zine' craze where the kids were putting out their own personal, photocopied magazines. Certainly then it would follow that my efforts invented blogs, web-pages, and possibly even the internet itself (of course with any necessary apologies to Al Gore). But I digress…)


Please do enjoy the quaint, innocence of my letter of so long ago when I, and indeed your company, were both so much younger. My perception has always been that I sent my request at the exact worst time in your company's history, as times then were not exactly sterling. In terms of the ebbs and tides, the rocks and rolls, the peaks and valleys of company pecuniary health, '85 was a big fat sagger year for you guys. And there I was, asking for a computer. Silly me.

While giving me a hot new G5 now would surely supply just the right amount of karmic upswing to stabilize these tiny, current improvements in the tech sector economy and allow them to blossom into a full-fledged economic boom-time again, there is a more personal, indeed gut-wrenching side to the story to which your generosity could supply a happy ending.

Years ago, in that dark, sad year of 1985, I did indeed choose the path to certain hell; I did buy an “IBM PC clone”. It wasn't really my intent to go the way of pure evil. Times were tough, money was tight, and there I was working in a wretched environment chock full of the evil beasts.

I'm not sure any of you AppleWorkers can possibly fathom how horrible it has been for me, or for any of us constantly subjected to the hacked out operating systems, crumbling hardware infrastructure, and substandard buggy software that is the basis upon which one of the richest SOBs in the country has built his evil empire. (We both know of whom I speak, and yes yes, I do hear he claims to be your friend now; but we all know better…)

So here we are at some new crossroads. I'm a Unix programmer (among lots-o-other languages/database type stuff) working at UC Santa Cruz. We're split about 50/50 between Macs and PCs on campus, though in our programming department we're all plodding away on cheap Dells (when they're working). Here at home I'm on a 4 year old Micron, and new needs (mostly music composition and work with my nature photographs – just hiked the 211 mile John Muir Trail in September – check it out at ) have me ready to get a new computer. And you can save me!!! You can lead me to the light!!

I think a key blunder I made in 1985 was to allow my request to somehow end up in the hands of “Donations And Handouts” (if that be the name of the department). You see, this request should really go straight to the Marketing Department, because only they will immediately know how absolutely darn cheap this deal is for you. As I said in my previous letter, I am potentially a walking/talking billboard for you guys. I am out “among ‘em”, mingling with your public, your potential sales. My name comes up, your company's name comes up, and within moments they could become wildly excited and impressed about how crazily generous you are in that you gave me one of your flagship computers, just because my name is “Apple” too. (I know, you know, we all know that even though Apple has left the rainbow logo'd, crazy-kids-with-a-nutty-company image behind, the entire world is best off never forgetting from whence you came.)

I do wish you the best for 2004 and I hope to hear from you. (I've not checked my Ouija Board, but I suppose that if the full karmic power amassed from a G5 given as a marketing expense isn't appealing to you, perhaps some amount of karmic power could be derived from selling one to your fellow “Apple” at cost or something. You have your wizards call my wizards…)



Thank You,



Rich Apple



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