Rich Apple
not gonna put my address on the internet
                  Santa Cruz, CA
                  November 23, 2004

Patrick (possible assistant to Philip Schiller, or just in that office?)
Apple Computers Worldwide Product Marketing
c/o 1 Infinite Loop
Cupertino, CA 95014

Dear Patrick,

Thank you for your phone message of 11/17 (or was it the 18 th ?) regarding Mr. Schiller having looked at my letter and so forth. I've had your number and name written down, but I've been too busy at work to call, so I'm simply sending another letter. My last letter to Apple! Momentous.

I say “momentous” because I've been writing to Apple since 1984 trying to convince someone of the marketing value of converting me to an Apple computer and doing so via some goodwill based on Apple Computers and me sharing the same name. Of course “since 1984” is a bit misleading because I really wrote just once back in 1984 and then started writing again this year.

If I were to call (as you graciously offered I could do), I would ask just one thing: Has it been understood that in my renewed efforts this year I have added the little nuance that if just giving me a system isn't in the cards, I'd gladly accept a mere discount?

That would be all the organic, word-of-mouth positive stealth advertising I've been babbling about for just a sliver off the full price of a nifty new G5 system that I would purchase. Define “sliver”? Well, as an employee of the University of California at Santa Cruz I already can get a 10% discount, so perhaps a little more? I've heard that some companies in software development for Apple such as Aladdin (or whatever the StuffIt people have changed their name to) receive a 20% discount, and it just so happens that currently in my job I'm working hard to get our Oracle Forms web-served via Oracle 9iAS on a Sun UNIX box working for Macs since half the campus uses Macs; so in a small way I too am an Apple related “developer”. (Okay, that's a stretch. I'm doing more to develop the FAQs for our Mac users until Oracle gets its act together better for Mac based browsers, but I am a programmer!)

Well, this little plea for a small, “namesake” discount is going to be my last hurrah in these efforts I've been pursuing since 1984. Please recognize that while this started out largely tongue in cheek – and I hope it's been at least entertaining for somebody around there – I have “lettered” myself into a bit of a corner with my naysayer friends so now I feel stuck in the hell that is “Windows” unless your company throws me some tiny, little bone. And absolutely understand that anything now would be understood to be a one shot deal and all my future purchases and upgrades will be made at full cost as if my name was Smith, Jones, or Appleton.

So thank you, Patrick. If you can give me one more response (either way, of course) it will be appreciated (phone message, email, quick note – know that toll free access to leave a voice message for me at work is available via 831-459-3000, then extension 94244, so you wouldn't have to sit through my silly home singing machine greeting). And again, thank you for responding already on behalf of Mr. Schiller, and do thank him for looking at what I had sent.


Rich Apple


Go to next letter

Back to list of letters